Every day is different, some better than others, and some worse. And some are both which was the case today. One of my principal complaints about this TKR experience has been my inability to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. That may not sound terribly important, but after three weeks (and yes, it's the three-week anniversary of my surgery) of getting broken and shortened sleep, I can only say that I'm tired, just flat-out tired. I'd give anything to be able to sleep 5 or 6 hours straight, but so far that desire has eluded me. So, to make a long whine short, I woke up feeling tired and grumpy and spent most of the morning on my computer and then on the couch feeling quite sorry for myself.
Around 11:00, Stan urged me to get dressed so that we could get out for just a small trip to the grocery. Even though I wasn't enthusiastic, I knew it was for the best and besides, I'd decided I would cook a real, full course dinner for the first time in over three weeks. Off we went, therefore, to the grocery where we got milk, the things I needed for dinner, and some treats for lunch. After getting home and eating lunch, I chopped up some chicken and put it in to marinate for my planned dinner of chicken shawarma. By that time, however, my leg hurt, I was tired, and definitely on the grumpy side, so I retired to my couch.
Stan left to go to the Rec Center so I read for quite a while, then dozed for 45 minutes. Fortunately I was awake and sitting up again by the time he came home. When asked if I wanted to do my exercises, I whined mightily and told Stan how sad and tired and fussy I was so that no, I didn't want to do my exercises. I retreated to my corner and sank into a bit of gloom, leaving Stan to go upstairs. By the time he had showered and come back downstairs, however, I had given myself a stern lecture and I was ready to turn a new leaf. I did, in fact, do my exercises, and then I cooked a real dinner that, even though I know he was maybe a bit overly enthusiastic, seemed to make Stan very happy. First "real" meal in a long time. I even cleaned up the kitchen!
Now, you may wonder what all this has to do with TKR surgery. It's actually quite relevant because the recovery from this surgery is slow, very slow and often quite uncomfortable. It's awfully easy to sink into a complete wallow of self-pity but, of course, that does no good at all. Which part of my day was more pleasant and better for my general health? Lolling about feeling grouchy and lethargic, or doing something productive and making someone else happy? The answer, of course, is obvious. I still won't sleep any more soundly tonight probably, but at least I won't have to lie awake feeling guilty about being a grump.
Tomorrow, I can only hope I will remember the lessons of today, and perhaps I'll even cook again!
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